For those that don't know, our car broke down (yet again) as Eric was driving it home from work yesterday. My thoughts immediately went to how we were going to pay for this a few weeks before Christmas. I felt myself wondering what we had done wrong. I know we had strayed from the budget a little this weekend to buy a Christmas tree, but we had been tithing for the last three weeks (the first time since we married). How could God do this? Was buying a Christmas tree and lunch really so bad? All these emotions all at once.
Don't get me wrong, God has done some amazing things for us financially the last three weeks. Things we could not have done on our own. Before the breakdown, I found myself so proud of 'our' faith and 'our' willingness to give it all to him in trust. Hmm, is anyone else seeing a problem forming here?
You see, what I failed to remember is that God does not give or take based our our actions or deeds. It is his will and plan that matters. I needed to be reminded that God did not do this to me because I had neglected to follow the budget. God may have wanted to test me and see how far my faith would take me, but it had nothing to do with my actions. Unfortunately, I am weak. I did not put trust where I should. I immediately turned to my earthly needs and how I was going to meet them.
Fortunately, I serve a great God who is greater than that. He forgives me and opens my eyes to where I can grow. So often I fail him, yet he loves me still. What an amazing God.
The good news is that the car repair we had done a week ago failed and let to this problem. Our hope is that this will not be our expense, but the auto shops. But either way, I am going to trust that my God will provide me with all I need and more, despite my shortcomings. Again, what a great God I serve.
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