Healing

As the deer pants for streams of water
So my soul pants for you, oh God
My soul thirsts for God, for the Living God
When can I go and meet with God?
My tears have been my food day and night
While men say to me all day long
“Where is your God?”
These things I remember As I pour out my soul
 …
Put your hope in God
For I will yet praise Him
My Savior and my God
…
Deep calls to deep
In the roar of your waterfalls
All your waves and breakers
Have swept over me
By day, the Lord directs His love
At night his song is with me
A prayer for the God of my life
…
For I will yet praise Him
My Savior and my God
Psalm 42:1-4,5,7-8,11

I have become addicted to exercise. The more I take it in, the more I need. One thing I have learned is that in order for your muscles to grow stronger, you must tear the fibers, split them apart and then let the healing begin. The same could be said of my soul. The time of shredding is coming to an end and the healing is occurring. However, unlike my physical muscles, which are replaced with tissue, the fissures in my soul are being filled with God. How amazing is that, to have my soul filled with something so strong, so enduring, that words cannot describe. It is not a physical healing, for those fibers can always be torn apart again. To have the caverns of my soul filled with God is everlasting.

Likewise, water is necessary to the healing of my physical muscles. It rehydrates my body, allowing my heart to pump life giving nutrients. It cleanses me of impurities and washes away that which has died. But it is not lasting. I will always find myself thirsting for more. I love John 4:13-14 where Jesus tells us, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give her will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give will become in her a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

I have this beautiful image in my head. Although the vessel is unclear, the water is rich and cold and refreshing; and it is overflowing, steady and true. Deep in my soul, I know it is all I need, all I want. I thirst for it and it leaves me satisfied in a way nothing on this earth can. It is ALL I NEED. My soul is being filled with Him, it is so complete and beautiful and worth the rips and tears that led me to this point. In September, I wrote that I was broken and hurt, but that I would praise God through the storm. Now, with great joy, I can see the storm retreating and the growth that those waters provided. Again, I say, “For I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God.”